|LETTERS I'VE ALLEGEDLY RECEIVED IN RESPONSE TO LETTERS I'VE ALLEGEDLY SENT:
...In regards to your complaint, Mr. Gebert, that the purchase of two oranges, a Mr. Pibb and a copy of Metropolitan Home should not constitute consent to have your personal customer information, as you put it, auctioned off like the charms of the most brazen strumpet, it is the stated policy of [grocery store deleted] to share the names, addresses and purchase infomation of our Fresh Savings cardholders with carefully selected companies whose special offers might be of interest to you.
While technically the Patriot Act Suspected Terrorist Database does not fit this description, and we regret the inconvenience this apparently caused you and several hundred of our other innocent customers, we think youll agree that anything that enables us to make our everyday low prices even lower is a big plus for all of our customers."
However, were afraid that distributing flyers with your photo on them identifying yourself as a corporate mystery shopper with pockets full of Ben Franklins to give away is disrupting the service experience for our other guests...
But Mr. Gebert, weve now waited at your house all day on three different occasions. Every time our installers start to leave, we get a call from your cell phone saying youre on your way, but somehow you never get there. Who do you think you are, the phone company?